Sunday, 14th of October, 2007
00:03: Ye Fine Olde Arte of Presentuary Packery
For Spid's birthday, we decided he needed a new iPod, because his old one was more or less literally falling apart. A geographically diverse bunch of us conspired to buy him a present-generation version of this miracle of enginerereering. It fell to yours truly to wrap the gift, and I was asked to document the process for those who couldn't attend the celebration.
This is my story. [cue dramatic music]
The iPod, of course, came packaged in its neat, compact box. Very slick. Very Apple. The rabid branding gnomes had marked it on all sides save the bottom. Cheeky little bastards. We'll show them!
Beside the fancy, bit-generation walkman, the package was to include some lovely, dark chocolate bars.
Gift wrapping is usually boring, and I have a tendency to go out of my way to do something more than just clothe the present in dreary, waxed paper. The packaging should mislead and build up for the best surprise effect. For this occasion, I got a compact disc storage box at a local store. It was a bit more expensive than I'd planned, but Art requires Sacrifice! Besides, it's definitely Poh-licketilly Correct to use wrapping that's actually a gift in itself! Less Waste, More Love! Shave the Earth! Share and Enjoy! Er...
Of course, the iPod box fit rather awkwardly into the CD storage box, but that was part of the idea. Yes! I am such a geniously wittish creature! I should rule the world, really. Worship me!
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Cat. Not included.
Now, for the packing material!
Now we're making progress. Note the surreptitious placement of the card. We don't want to give the message away at first glance!
The card. (No, I don't speak German. It's a silly language. Yer.)
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Cat, unimpressed. Still not included.
Chocolate-covered iPod! Yum!
(The order of the chocolate stack was actually important, because some of the bars would be recognised as coming from the U.S. - giving away part of the surprise. Since I knew he was going to be tired at the celebration, I was hoping he'd be less alerted if I mixed in some obviously local-bought varieties.)
Shut the lid, add ribbon and voilá! Yer sneakarly wrappaged iPod and chocolates present-gift-offering, deluxe - hold the feline. Please!
.png)
Oh, come on!
addendum: I managed to forget Inz on the card. Sorry, man. I've told Spid about it, so he knows you were in on the present. Typical of my lousy memory and tired mind.
This is my story. [cue dramatic music]
The iPod, of course, came packaged in its neat, compact box. Very slick. Very Apple. The rabid branding gnomes had marked it on all sides save the bottom. Cheeky little bastards. We'll show them!
Beside the fancy, bit-generation walkman, the package was to include some lovely, dark chocolate bars.
Gift wrapping is usually boring, and I have a tendency to go out of my way to do something more than just clothe the present in dreary, waxed paper. The packaging should mislead and build up for the best surprise effect. For this occasion, I got a compact disc storage box at a local store. It was a bit more expensive than I'd planned, but Art requires Sacrifice! Besides, it's definitely Poh-licketilly Correct to use wrapping that's actually a gift in itself! Less Waste, More Love! Shave the Earth! Share and Enjoy! Er...
Of course, the iPod box fit rather awkwardly into the CD storage box, but that was part of the idea. Yes! I am such a geniously wittish creature! I should rule the world, really. Worship me!
Cat. Not included.
Now, for the packing material!
Now we're making progress. Note the surreptitious placement of the card. We don't want to give the message away at first glance!
The card. (No, I don't speak German. It's a silly language. Yer.)
Cat, unimpressed. Still not included.
Chocolate-covered iPod! Yum!
(The order of the chocolate stack was actually important, because some of the bars would be recognised as coming from the U.S. - giving away part of the surprise. Since I knew he was going to be tired at the celebration, I was hoping he'd be less alerted if I mixed in some obviously local-bought varieties.)
Shut the lid, add ribbon and voilá! Yer sneakarly wrappaged iPod and chocolates present-gift-offering, deluxe - hold the feline. Please!
Oh, come on!
addendum: I managed to forget Inz on the card. Sorry, man. I've told Spid about it, so he knows you were in on the present. Typical of my lousy memory and tired mind.
Saturday, 08th of September, 2007
23:40: Daddy, I Wanna Go To The Burning Man!
Yeah, really.
There are times when I actually wish the U.S. of A. were closer by. There aren't many reasons to make me consider visiting there, these days, but if I had the money, I would definitely go to the Burning Man, next year. (...and possibly every year to come, subsequently, until I perish blissfully in the desert sun.)
A massive horde of artists, free-thinkers, freaks, deviants and people from California gathered together in the middle of the desert for an art festival that celebrates, as I understand it, life. I've seen photos. I've read accounts. The more I hear of it, the more I consider hitchhiking on a global level, just to get there. For an aberrant like myself, I suspect it would be much like suddenly finding home.
Man, what does an eerie have to do to get a rich patron, these days...
There are times when I actually wish the U.S. of A. were closer by. There aren't many reasons to make me consider visiting there, these days, but if I had the money, I would definitely go to the Burning Man, next year. (...and possibly every year to come, subsequently, until I perish blissfully in the desert sun.)
A massive horde of artists, free-thinkers, freaks, deviants and people from California gathered together in the middle of the desert for an art festival that celebrates, as I understand it, life. I've seen photos. I've read accounts. The more I hear of it, the more I consider hitchhiking on a global level, just to get there. For an aberrant like myself, I suspect it would be much like suddenly finding home.
Man, what does an eerie have to do to get a rich patron, these days...
Friday, 07th of September, 2007
07:02: Dungeon Runners
I've been trying out Dungeon Runners, lately. It's an MMOG which snares players by being free to play and ridiculously cheap to register. For $5 a month, you get access to "privileges", such as items above the "magic" (blue) level, bank vaults and potion stacking. Arguably, the game is rather impractical without these features, once you get past your first levels, but then pretty much anyone who has given online games more than a cursory thought can spare five bucks a month.
Even though it plays out in a very familiar way, Dungeon Runners is not your average MMOG. Rather than competing with leviathans like the ubiquitous World of Warcraft, which require a fairly sizeable investment of time and energy, this little beastie aims to fill the slot of the casual, drop-in-and-play type of diversion.
The play-style, humour and overall attitude of Dungeon Runners can be summed up in one word: offhand. This game does not take itself seriously, and neither should you. I'm tempted to call it an MMOG marriage of the action-RPG (á la Diablo) and the Roguelike. (For you saplings, a Roguelike is a game in the tradition of Rogue, Nethack and Moria - that is the original type of dungeon crawl.)
If you've played any MMOG and/or action-RPG, it won't take you long to figure out how the game works. Most of the staples of the fantasy RPG are here, but they're all kept at an elementary level: three character classes - fighter, mage and ranger; four basic stats - strength, agility, endurance and intelligence; only one "race". To this is added a slew of skills (bought by your hard-earned gold, much like in WoW) that allow you to customise the character to your style of play.
The controls aren't perfect, being literally in between those of the standard MMOG and your average click-to-kill action-RPG. They're easy to get the hang of, but on occasion, such as when using a targeted ability while furiously hacking away at your foe, they can be outright awkward, leaving your hero staring into the distance and losing precious seconds of potential savagery. On the other hand, the difficulty of the game is forgiving, so while these moments are frustrating, they're not game-killers.
...and then, there's the humour. When I wrote "offhand", I really did mean it. Dungeon Runners does not go out of its way to throw you into fits of hysterical laughter, but rather sports the chaotic, eye-twinkling kind of wit of the creative, intellectual, complete nutter. How about a salesman that will mutter to you that all his stuff is crap, the quest-giver who pulls bad jokes in a fairly accurate impression of Sean Connery's James Bond, or the fact that the first weapons you receive are made of cardboard?
You'd have to be on some serious mind-benders to laugh at all of it, and I think different people will find different things funny, but as a whole, it works. Personally, I only have to be a little tired to find my "Baptismal Rusty Scale Spaulders of the Unfocused Manatee" highly chuckle-worthy.
Maybe that is the whole thing about Dungeon Runners: while none of it is really impressive or excellent, neither is any of it really bad; while it doesn't invite or expect devotion, nor does it push you away. The low fee, coupled with fact that the whole game is made with that impromptu competence makes it perfect as a noncommittal pastime. That is, unless you'd rather be doing crosswords.
Even though it plays out in a very familiar way, Dungeon Runners is not your average MMOG. Rather than competing with leviathans like the ubiquitous World of Warcraft, which require a fairly sizeable investment of time and energy, this little beastie aims to fill the slot of the casual, drop-in-and-play type of diversion.
The play-style, humour and overall attitude of Dungeon Runners can be summed up in one word: offhand. This game does not take itself seriously, and neither should you. I'm tempted to call it an MMOG marriage of the action-RPG (á la Diablo) and the Roguelike. (For you saplings, a Roguelike is a game in the tradition of Rogue, Nethack and Moria - that is the original type of dungeon crawl.)
If you've played any MMOG and/or action-RPG, it won't take you long to figure out how the game works. Most of the staples of the fantasy RPG are here, but they're all kept at an elementary level: three character classes - fighter, mage and ranger; four basic stats - strength, agility, endurance and intelligence; only one "race". To this is added a slew of skills (bought by your hard-earned gold, much like in WoW) that allow you to customise the character to your style of play.
The controls aren't perfect, being literally in between those of the standard MMOG and your average click-to-kill action-RPG. They're easy to get the hang of, but on occasion, such as when using a targeted ability while furiously hacking away at your foe, they can be outright awkward, leaving your hero staring into the distance and losing precious seconds of potential savagery. On the other hand, the difficulty of the game is forgiving, so while these moments are frustrating, they're not game-killers.
...and then, there's the humour. When I wrote "offhand", I really did mean it. Dungeon Runners does not go out of its way to throw you into fits of hysterical laughter, but rather sports the chaotic, eye-twinkling kind of wit of the creative, intellectual, complete nutter. How about a salesman that will mutter to you that all his stuff is crap, the quest-giver who pulls bad jokes in a fairly accurate impression of Sean Connery's James Bond, or the fact that the first weapons you receive are made of cardboard?
You'd have to be on some serious mind-benders to laugh at all of it, and I think different people will find different things funny, but as a whole, it works. Personally, I only have to be a little tired to find my "Baptismal Rusty Scale Spaulders of the Unfocused Manatee" highly chuckle-worthy.
Maybe that is the whole thing about Dungeon Runners: while none of it is really impressive or excellent, neither is any of it really bad; while it doesn't invite or expect devotion, nor does it push you away. The low fee, coupled with fact that the whole game is made with that impromptu competence makes it perfect as a noncommittal pastime. That is, unless you'd rather be doing crosswords.